Month-End Reflections (September 2016)

Another month ended and now it's October. I ended my month in Malaysia and started the month in the Philippines. It's great to be back to enjoy and relax for two weeks, probably get some much needed rest as I had a hectic month of September. So, what happened last month was all the pressures of work that have taken a toll on me. Disheartened. This is the word I can put for what my month was. I was disheartened for the things that is happening in my work. Disheartened that people have already forgotten their dues. Disheartened that I need to push my vacation at later time. Disheartened with the state we are in at work. Things have never changed and I don't think change will happen unless the people change.


Why Am I Here?
I was planning for one thing to accomplish and unfortunately it had to wait for another month. Then so it comes this month (October) to plan ahead for when I would be starting something close to my dream before. Looks like I am believing in myself of pursuing it and hoping that I would soon realize it. Well, this is why I am here, still conquering my dream that is all too often is being left out and hopefully soon become a reality.


What Did I Learn This Month?
It was all the breakdown of sorts and with all the things that is happening in my work, I found the light at the end of the tunnel. It always come in God's time. Though all the stress was in this month at the start, in the end I was happy that I can be set free again. It was all struggles and time-pressured events that I was not too comfortable with and in the end it was just in time. I was already prepared to lose the fight and struggling to bridge the time of coming back home for the next month, but at the last minute it miraculously accomplished. Thank God!


Am I Carrying An Excess Baggage In This Month That Can Be Dropped?
I guess I need to carry again the excess baggage until these rats give me back my money. It's a hard-earned money that I have planned for my future. Well, once they pay their debts it's all over. From there, this baggage will be gone and these rats would not be welcome into my life again. I have dropped a lot of people in my life, some dropped me off, but life goes on. I need to carry on this burden longer than I wanted to, but I have no choice. So, let's see before the end of next month, if these rats pay up. (Well, it's the same as last month.... I don't need to change this)


What Is The Greatest Achievement I Did This Month? 
Was to have faith that my documents can be settled before coming back home to Philippines in time. It is the only thing that is left for me to have and it is the only thing that I need to rely on for what has to be one of the craziest things I need to do in my life of travelling. Faith brought me back here and it is faith is what I would need for anything in my life to succeed. It is faith in God that I need to rely on in the struggles of my life even I thought I lost the fight. It was faith that made me realize that I am not alone in my life, I am with God who helped me again.


What Is the Biggest Time Sink I Did This Month?
I guess it was the worry. I was worried as hell for what I can and cannot do. I was worried on my life. I was worried that I can't accomplish the things I need to. It affected my work and it affected how I interacted with other people. It was a struggle that for the month. I was worried because of the promises I gave to people and I hate it when I disappoint my friends and family. So, I was really worried that I can't fulfill my promise. But good thing in the end, it happened.


What More Should I Do For Next Month?
Have faith. Have faith in the things I want in my future. Have faith in my life that with all the struggles, there is a positive outcome. In every successful person, there will be failures in life, struggles in life, worries in life. I need more faith in myself that I can accomplish the dreams that I want in my life. So, I can be happy in the future. Just have faith.


Who Did I Help This Month?
Well, as much as I needed the money for the next month. I needed to help an old friend again. Whether he gives it back or not, I will be fine. As I know of his struggles that he don't even know that I know. Things can be hard, but it's not the money I can give. It's the support that I give. The lessons in life that I can share with you, because you have lost your way in the worst possible way. I don't know how you will come back, but you need to as it is your family that will suffer. You should've thought wisely in your decision, because you may have just ruined, if not yet, to the people who love you most.


Whom Should I Say "Thank You" This Month?
I would like to thank God for this month. I know it is every day that God is to be thanked for the life He has given me. But, this is special, because I know I have not been a good follower, but in the end God gave me a gift for all the struggles I have in my life. It is special because I thought I lost the fight, but was given the gift just in time. And it is why I thank God for this month.