When negativity is within you...

I was feeling depressed for a few weeks now because of things that happened in the past, missed opportunities, and my current relationship. All of these came at the same time that made it difficult for me see happiness in my life I ought to have. I was searching for outlets to stay away from the depression I was facing head on. I hated myself for the relationships I had, for the missed opportunities I had, for the hurt I'm putting on myself every single day, and I hated myself for just being me.

I had small talks, whether face to face and chat, it helped but by the end of the day, I still remember why I am depressed. I pushed away the people I care about and I know it's not the right thing to do, I vented out my anger at other people for the wrongs that I did. But, it's all about me. It has always been about me.

I faced depression head on and now negativity is within me. I long for happiness for my life and not for just an hour or so, it is forever. I know my life is not perfect, I will have bumps and bruises along the way. But I can hopefully see the light of happiness and over the negativity within me.

I'm feeling better, though not 100%, hopefully, I can succeed in bringing happiness back to my life hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and months by months. I just pray that all things will be back to normal for happiness to engulf me with joy and fulfillment.