My Broken Vow

Only a few people knows that I made a vow, a vow to once marry a beautiful soul that captured my heart when I was in the Lion City. I knew it was her all along, I know at first it would be difficult because of the distance between us. The distance not only measured in miles, but measured in our differences on beliefs, culture and life. But I knew then, when I told her that I will marry her, it will be forever.

Things have changed, trust have been lost, hearts broken into pieces, and forgiveness was never been allowed to show up. I was in denial for most of the years that we've separated. I was angry at myself, thinking that time will pass by and her love to me will find a way. It never did and will never find its way. I have given up my vow for more than a year now. It is just right, for me.

I never fully recovered from our relationship. I never did trust that I will find someone who would truly love me. Until now, my heart is closed to love someone, because I am afraid that no one can love me as much as I love her. I know my friends and family are pushing me to look for someone to marry. But, I have lost trust in all relationships. I have lost trust in makings vows. I lost trust to love.

This is my broken vow. No matter what happens, whether or not I will marry in the future. I will carry the hurt that caused me my life that I cared for.