I Never Expected This To Happen

When I was young I never did I imagine this to happen...

I imagined myself with my own company, a restaurant and being successful at it. Well, I got plans for that and I hope it will come true.

I imagined myself to have a family, my own family, where I would have kids of my own and being so happy to see them grow up and be successful in their own rights.

I imagined myself just basking under the sun and enjoying the sunset in my beachfront house, I hope it still comes true, with my own playroom, home bar and an amazing kitchen.

But I never imagined myself to be outside of the country and work for someone else. I hope I can be somewhere else, but I need this for now just to stay afloat.

But I never imagined I would be of help to my parents, now my dad to take care of our house and be the breadwinner after my dad.

Being the youngest of four, I never imagined I will be who I am now and what I am achieving now to help my parents. Things are different now and I don't know if how long will this go on.

So now, I have my priorities, my dad and myself. I want to move on to other things. I have invested on things, whether good or bad. It's either taking its toll on me or making me wish I have done it years ago.

Let's be honest, I was stupid enough for several years to pay this loan for nothing, basically I am throwing money now until the year ends and I just can't wait for the end of the year.

January 2017 will be happiest month (and year) I will have as it will end a torture that I have done for myself and drown in this never ending waste of money.

I need to think of my future, but if now, I'm still leaving in the past... how can I move on? Feelings are no more, just the anguish of money is there.

I never imagined this would ever happen to me. I never imagined I will be the breadwinner of the family. I never imagined I will be who I am now. I never envisioned this for myself, but now I am.

I wish I can undo it, but I just can't I need to live with it, no matter how bad or good it is. It's God's plan. I just hope I can live a better future in the end.

I never imagined this to happen... but it did...