It's Bothering Me!

How long would this last?

I have been harboring the pain of the past for years and it is still bothering me. It can't be this way all the time when I am alone in my pad, I always remember how I was betrayed and left behind by the person who I thought loved me even we were miles apart. So, why can it last this long when she never really cared how I felt and left me alone.

I have been waiting for the months to fly by this year as I end the years of trouble I made for myself and have really regretted my mistake. Like what I was telling someone in this past week, everything happens for a reason, but what reason is it? Well, my only guess is paying for the life I wanted for nothing I would gain for. I have been paying my debts and it all comes to this, the hatred in my heart that keeps me remembering the past.

So, how long would this last?

I guess it would only feel right when all things have been settled, then I will forget her totally. It will give me a renewed life that I wanted to feel since I was left and betrayed. It will give a new meaning to my life to the life I once enjoyed until it all vanished because of the hate against me. It will give me a smile that I can truly say it's a great smile from my heart. I am just waiting for the time for us not to be in touch again.

You once said, I was happy and enjoyed my life. You once said that we will marry and have our dream house, travel and build our family. But never and never will be. You have chosen to forget who we are and you chose to remember the debt I owe. And I chose to live a life of hatred and I chose to live a life not knowing who you are anymore. You chose to clear your thoughts, but what I know is that you never cleared the thought of me always being wrong to you. You are always right, even you are wrong. I chose love before, but you hated me for it.

In the end, I hope in my last pay, you would go away.