Should and Must

A decision must be made and the future lies on what I see would be better for me. A book that I read, "The Crossroads of Should and Must" by Ella Luna talks about the transition of making decisions in life from SHOULD to MUST and it inspired me to believe in myself more on taking that next step of making my decisions not because of the people around me, but because I MUST do it for myself. 

Though I lived independently, most of my decisions was because of what other people has to say, not because of what I want in my life or better for my life. All these time, I have been wasting my efforts and have little to enjoy because of the decisions I made for my life. A paradigm shift I did recently was making an effort to do the MUST in my life. 

At one point in time, I had nothing, I was left in the dark by someone who I thought will bring me back to life, I lost my job and looked for any job so I can just stay afloat in the country I was not familiar with, I lost my Mom thereafter that was the turning point of my life. But God was there for me and gave me another chance to live my life the way I MUST. And here I am, where I make my own decisions not because of other people, but because of myself.

In a few turn of events leading to now, I have again decided to look for a better place to be an impact in somewhere else. I feel this is the best time to look for better options for myself, as I feel there would no future in where I am in now. I have been waiting patiently, but there was no chance and even is now worse. Though it may not be greener on the other side of the fence, I will make it work. Now, I'll be leaving with no regrets and wholeheartedly leaving because I MUST do it.

Though I have been doing what I love, but the positives are overshadowed by all the negatives. This made it easy for me to decide as I can't force myself to do something I don't like and just be good about it. The future seems to be gray now, but time is what I have now, the time I need to look for options in my life. Looking what I have now, I may have the money to support myself, but it's not the money I earn, it's what I feel living my life.

I have been living in the crossroads of the SHOULD and MUST, and it's about time I take control of myself to do what I MUST in my life. Now, I have crossed-over and is leading my life in the MUST.