Eventually

Another year passed in my life and a year older now. It was a year of changes not only in my career, but in the friendships and relationships that I built around the year. I left the company I worked for a long time and found a new place to work in. It's really different and daunting at times, but I know I will have the courage to do what I know best. But something new came up and I've been thinking of this long and hard to the point that I really want it, but I'm struggling to give way because of the difficulties that I am right now. Things may just be good outside, but what will happen when I embark in a new journey again.

Other than that, I have lost a few friendships and will be ending soon a few more because of the struggles I am in right now. It looks like that cutting ties are the only ways to get out of toxic people who don't respect and understand what I am going through with my life. I don't need a lot of friends, I only need a few, the true friends who I know will be there for me through thick or thin. As for those who don't value and abused my kindness, bridges of our friendship will be broken in time. 

As I've been here in the Philippines, I've met a few people who I thought would be great to be with. Finding someone I can love and give my love to. But, it was not to happen. But eventually, I will find someone. Someone who is willing to accept who I am, someone who believes that I can love her with all my heart. Eventually, my life will change and find someone, then build our happy family in the end. I do hope that someday, somehow, some place, I will find you. But if you're already there, I hope I have the courage to say it to you, because our friendship is important to me and I don't want to lose you.

Eventually, my plans to have something for myself will also be there. The plans I imagined even I was young. But I guess, I was too afraid or the circumstances are just too hard to go through. But eventually, I will have the courage to build an empire for myself and my family. Now, it seems unlikely, but eventually I will find a way. I will realize that I will find a family and an empire for my life.

I am ready to face another year of my life. Another year of building relationships, friendships, and seeking for the dreams I know in my heart can pursue. I am ready to give away all the things that makes my life miserable. I am ready to cut ties to breathe better, not necessarily easy, but away from doubts and insecurities in my life. Eventually.