If You Were Only

It's been almost a year that I've been here in the Philippines and with a new path that I am thinking of now, I'm still hoping of better things to come in my life. I'm not getting any younger and I see my younger cousins getting married so often, I might as well be more focused on having a family of my own.

I'm happy with the progress of my life, my finances are getting better, even with a lower paying job that I was used to. Though I have thoughts of looking for better options, I'm trying to think better now and staying put of where I am currently right now and just look for something or someone in another aspect of my life. 

Though I met a few people for the past few months, I kept my doors open of thinking what I really wanted in my life or better yet, who can fill the void that I thought I found several years ago. The agony was real, the hunger was there, but with all those, I don't know why in the end I felt something is still missing. 

I feel at times neglected and left out, and so much that I needed the attention of someone. And if it was missing, I just feel it was really not meant to be. It was not enough, I just need someone who would be there, someone who I know can be there. Not for some times, but most of the times. 

Then there was you, I think you are someone special. But then again, why? It just can't be and this is not the relationship I want. I feel happy that you have time and we have time together. I like the stories, I like that you are just open, I like that you are happy that we can go out. But I know this would not last, I know this is just a temporary life between us. Things will change and I know we are not meant to be. 

Well, I just hope that you are not you. You were someone else. For now, I'm just glad that I met you. Things will change, I know we will grow apart. I just hope, both of us will find someone who can fill the void we have, separately.