With all Laughter...

... there is sadness that rains in my heart. I have been strong for most of the time, but I am still scared of what I am now. I am scared of the circumstances that I am in and no one knows how hard it is for me. I may have made promises to people and have broken it. This is just not easy in life where you can just deliver the promises you give, but I have been trying to keep my promises.

...there is loneliness that engulfs me. Where I need to stay strong because I am the only one who can help me now. I am alone right now and anything that happens to my life right now, I need to handle it by myself. Though I ask people surrounding me to help, there are just so much they can help. I tried and I failed, but it is not the end because I am still making efforts to free myself from being alone.

...there is heartaches that I feel in my soul. I learned to love and be loved, but I also knew how it is to be left and be hurt. I thought I knew love, but I was wrong. It hurts when I realize that love can fade and be washed away with all your faults. I knew how my faults can break any relationship I am in. I knew how love is just a word that makes you feel happy, but in the end will make you weep. 

---there is despair and frustration. People may be frustrated with me because of the things I have done or what I have not done. But it is only one side of the coin that makes us feel this way. There is one side that you keep it from someone, so as not to pity you. I can just hope that people would know the other side of you. The one who is suffering. I just hope people would understand, but it's not.