Looks Like I'm Stuck

I have been thinking and re-thinking of being in a relationship. It has been over 5 years that I have not been in a relationship. But when I think of myself now, I don't even know if I am capable of being in one. I just don't know how to go on with my personal life when I have doubts. I don't even know if I am capable of loving someone right now. Things was really hard back then and being left behind was really hard. It's not because I still like the girl I used to love, but it's more of being able to carry out the love that I used to give.

I want to, but I don't know if I can. I know... I know... I wouldn't know if I try. But something that bothers me is I would just go to a relationship just to try if it works out. I want my next relationship to be my last. I never wanted out of my last relationship and circumstances around our relationship just turned sour. I was foolish enough to carry out a burden because of love. I did love her more than I did myself. This is how I loved her and this is how I love.

I know it doesn't come easily. I know the hardships that will come along the way. The question now is, am I driven to fall for someone right now and start anew? I have doubts if I can be committed again to someone. My mind is fighting over this matter for quite sometime now and I just can't be like this until the end. I have thoughts that I would probably be better off being alone and staying alone. It's one of the things I wanted to do in my life and I am that now.

Usually I am the one giving the advice, but now I think I need one. Well, I hope it comes... For now, it looks like I'm stuck!