Random Thoughts

What makes me write down my thoughts? 

The serenity, the stillness of the moment, when I feel alone, when I feel happy and glad to meet someone, when I feel all worlds falling apart, when I hear the rain falling, and when I am emotional or just when I just feel like writing. 

It's been awhile that I have a good time to talk to someone new in my life, but I don't know why I want to be left alone and not be bothered. I found something that makes me happy, but I get easily bored with what I am doing. I really don't know why but I just don't like doing things same thing over and over again when you know there would be no happy ending to what you are doing.

Last night when my barber told me that I am growing gray hair already, I told him I'm really stressed at work, but I was thinking too that it's because I am growing old. I just had my birthday over the weekend and I just feel that having someone in my life is good, but I don't know if I'll find someone. As all of them are happy now, enjoying their lives and I am falling apart in an emotional wreck of sorts.

But hey! I must be happy because now I will be having soon a property of my own, sort of, as an investment. I feel like one of my dreams is beginning to be seen, but I don't just one, I want more. It's something that I feel like doing. I don't need someone to make me happy, it's what I make that makes me happy. I just want to get out of this whirlwind that I am dragged down with what I am paying and I am looking forward to being debt-free by the end of next year. 

Work? Has been a drag. I don't feel secured. I don't feel happy anymore. I have been doing things that I must not do where there is no return of investment. But how will you ask when you know the company is going down the flames. When you know that it's not working. The stress of work makes me lose the happiness out of me. Sometimes I think, I just want to have a decent talk, where I can just brought back to life that was sucked out of me.

I just need another time off, but without the stress of home. Where it really hurts. People just don't know what I feel about having a family that may live together but are no where close with each other. Now, I'll stop at this.

Thanks for reading. God Bless you all!