The Tale of Two Women

As I start off my new year, I would first lean away from the traditional New Year's resolutions and give some light on why am I still single for the longest time and I haven't come to being serious about having a relationship. It's been overdue and what is the best way to tell my situation is because of the TALE OF TWO WOMEN in my life.

Years ago, I met this amazing woman who I didn't feel in love at first sight, but it grew to me that she might be the one for me. It was never easy for us due to our differences in our lives, cultures and language. But the start was great as each of us know what we wanted out for our relationship, that is to get married soon. Planning our lives, enjoying first a few years without any kids and eventually having kids after we enjoyed touring around the world. Planning of where to live and planning how we can we be successful in our careers and until we grow old. 

But along the way, we met a lot of struggles being in a long distance relationship, language barrier, and culture differences. It seems everything we do just to keep up with our relationship and to make it stronger seems failing. Even events that we feel we are the happiest, becomes the most frustrating and saddest part of our lives. Things were just not working for us and eventually she decided it is time to leave me. As I struggle being alone, I wanted still to be with her so I left the company and wanted to build a new life with her even she left me already. And in the end, it was not meant to be. She is with someone else and I was left stranded in the land that I wanted to leave because of the bitter sweet memories I had. 

Until, I left and looked to redeem myself in my career without her. As I was rebuilding my broken self and learning to forget her and mend my broken heart. For just a few months after leaving, I was asked by a friend to find a good place to relax and so we did. We went to this lounge where I found a group of amazing singers. As I got my smile back, I felt happy again with the people around me. I felt that I was not alone anymore. With that I met someone new. I like her from the moment I laid my eyes on her. She captivated me with her voice, but made me fall with her incredible grace.

But because I was still rebuilding myself, when she asked me if I had someone I said I have, even I don't have anymore. And from that day forward, I lost my chance being with her. I lost the chance to be close with her. I lost the chance to tell her that it was over, it was over even I told her I was with someone else. I felt stupid at that time, I really don't know. I guess I was too afraid to fall and be hurt again. But when I think about it, I felt hurt because I never told the truth. I never told the truth that I fell for her. And until now, even I think she knows, it's been buried as she is with someone else right now.

While I'm here, I find myself talking to them because I fell in love with them. Just because I know I would be happy talking to them even we are just friends. And now, as I look to this new year, I thought of looking further and having a step forward to learn to fall for someone. It's good to love, because you know you will have someone to be there when you need a hand to pick you up from the rubble of my life.